Soar: The Breakthrough Treatment For Fear Of Flying

I have flown, but I was always very anxious beforehand and takeoff was very unnerving. I’d usually have a couple of stiff drinks beforehand. My husband of 46 wonderful years passed away in January. In June I felt like the best thing for me was an adventure, so I booked a 4 1/2 hour flight for September to Seattle and a cruise to Alaska!! I purchased this book thinking it might help me overcome my fears and dislikes about flying. Guess what?! It did!! Captain Bunn went beyond the “it’s a safe form of travel… safer than your car” to thoroughly explaining why my brain reacted the way it does, to any and everything you’d want to know about the safety of a jet and the people who are involved; pilots, navigators, control room, attendants etc. He even explained how once the jet is cruising at its altitude and speed, it is like flying through thick gel that actually helps with keeping that huge jet in air. He goes into great detail about turbulence, which was something that would make me panic, but after reading all his scientific reasonings, I can now understand it! He also writes about weather, birds, other aircrafts and other possibilities of mishap.I liked the first part of the book and how it address the emotional side of flying, but what helped me most was the aviation section; those are the things I needed to know. When I flew to Seattle it was without drugs or alcohol prior to take-off, I was so calm. My hands didn’t sweat, my heartbeat didn’t race, I was at ease!! Amazing! It’s all because I knew what was going on! Knowledge is a powerful thing!! Thank you Captain Bunn for caring about people! Thank you for writing this book and offering this program to people who are paralyzed by the fear of flying. I have a tripped planned to visit my son and his family for Christmas, and yes, I’m flying!! I’m also doing research on my next adventure, ITALY!!

It has taken me awhile to write this review. When you’ve accomplished the seemingly impossible, words don’t always come quickly.Captain Tom Bunn is a former U.S. Air Force fighter pilot-turned-licensed therapist. This gives him a unique perspective to help those of us with not only flying anxiety, but also anxieties of other types. He divides his book into two parts: the Psychology of Flying Anxiety and the Mechanics of Aviation.I was born with a genetic disposition to anxiety disorders. Many members of my family have anxiety, and I am what Dr. Elaine Aron calls a “highly sensitive person.” As a result, I experienced a variety of painful events, from being bullied in school, to enduring social humiliations, and other types of distressing mishaps.But it wasn’t those events that led to my flying anxiety per se; it was the response to them by those closest to me.“Cry, and I’ll give you something to cry about.”“All kids are bullied; you’re being too sensitive.”“When I was little, I couldn’t tell my parents about my problems. They were too busy working and paying the bills.”In other words, when I experienced any anxiety or distress, I wasn’t met with what Captain Bunn calls “empathic attunement.” I didn’t experience the sweet relief that comes with the release of oxytocin, which “conveys the sense there is less to be afraid of.”Because of this, I developed panic attacks. My attacks of panic weren’t the typical ones you hear about from others—racing heartbeat, dissociation, fear of death. My panic attacks were dry heaving, gagging, and a fear of vomiting in front of others.I had to leave school to be home-taught. I became agoraphobic. I also learned my mother didn’t leave the house for 20 years.Fast forward about 25 years. With the help of counseling and a daily medication, I am able to function independently. I have my own apartment, my Master’s degree, and a pretty darn good job.But I still have a hard time sitting in a classroom. I have to sit in the exit row of a movie theater. Being a passenger in a car is troublesome. And church…well, forget that. Even sitting in the last row gives me anxiety.Any situation where I cannot escape (whether a physical or psychological barrier) is a no-go.And that’s the crux of Captain Bunn’s SOAR program. He explains how it’s not being able to escape on a plane that causes so much distress. Many of us who fear flying (and fear sitting in movie theaters or churches or restaurants) lack the ability to regulate our emotions, which expresses itself in a variety of anxieties. Any situation where escape is impossible or embarrassing becomes a source of anxiety. Driving over a bridge? Sitting in a juror’s box? Sitting in the middle row watching a performance?Each of these anxieties have pretty much the same cause, which Captain Bunn explains in SOAR.At the end of October, with the prodding of extended family, I flew from Philadelphia to Orlando, and back again. I followed the exercises and suggestions in the book.I was determined not to take any Xanax on my flight (Captain Bunn explains the dangers of doing so). I did take some along, but the bottle was in my backpack in the overhead compartment a few rows back. I didn’t even think about getting it!I never experienced such calmness! I told the flight attendants that I wouldn’t worry until I saw them worry. They chuckled. “Don’t worry,” they said, “It’s just another day at the office for us!” On the return trip, I sat over the wings at the window. It was amazing.There were two times when my anxiety was a bit high, but it didn’t have to do with the actual flight itself.The first time was when I was checking my baggage. I felt the familiar feeling of anxiety rise in my throat. But that was my fault, as I didn’t practice the 5-4-3-2-1 exercise enough that Captain Bunn explains in the book. My instinct was to get out of line, and perhaps leave the airport. But then I saw two little kids in front of me. I knew they were going to Disney World, so I started talking to them. That helped me a great deal.The second time was when I handed the letter of introduction to the gate agent. This letter, which is a part of the book, asks the agent to let me board first and meet the pilots. Captain Bunn says this is what really internalizes the exercises from the book. The gate agent wasn’t sure; she asked me if this letter was from my doctor. I told her no, but it was from my personal therapist (I hope Captain Bunn doesn’t mind!). After about ten agonizing minutes, she begrudgingly agreed to let me board early.(At the time, I decided to have my physician also type a letter for me; however, since my trip was so calm and enjoyable, I may not need to pre-board in the future.)I plan on giving a copy of SOAR to my friends who also struggle with flying. One is able to fly while medicated, but she cannot drive over bridges. Another friend had a traumatic experience while flying, and refuses to do so again.In fact, I would recommend SOAR to anyone with anxiety, flying or otherwise.Captain Bunn and SOAR helped me do the impossible. These words are painfully inadequate to express that.