Taming Your Outer Child: Overcoming Self-Sabotage and Healing from Abandonment Paperback – February 17, 2015

And trust me, I’ve read a LOT of them! I heard Susan Anderson on a podcast and was intrigued so I bought her book…. and my life was changed! Having survived a childhood swallowed up in shame and zero self worth, followed by some horrible choices in my young adult life, I have been on a desperate journey of healing ever since. The concepts in this book - about self-compassion and understanding our unwanted bad behavior made so much sense, and I found myself healing more and more on every page! For anyone serious about doing their hard but so-effective work, I can’t recommend this book highly enough! I wish I could give it 11 out of 5 stars!

I'm sending copies of this book to everyone I know who has abandonment issues. I bought it to help me with my overwhelming tendency to procrastinate. In just days I begin to see an incremental difference in the way I feel about the things I need to get done. That sudden panicky feeling that was attached to every thought of doing something constructive for myself began to fade and a new sense of security and motivation took over. You can trust me when I tell you that my abandonment issues are deep-seated and go back a long time, earlier than I can remember. In my childhood I was abandoned by my mother and father, betrayed and abused by my older siblings. In adulthood I was a single mother having been abandoned by my son's father and most recently, lost my son to drugs and heart disease at the age of 29. I'm here to tell you that this program (along with other therapies like Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and the 12-step program of Al-Anon) have saved my life, literally. I was at a point after my son died that I was rehearsing killing myself. Learning about my inner child stopped me. Learning about my Outer child is bringing me back to life. BUY THIS BOOK!!

This book offers a completely new paradigm for understanding persistent self-sabotage and the underlying emotions that you are not listening to. The author connects the Outer Child concept to recent brain research. It helped me understand how my Outer Child has been driving my life choices far too often, that my Inner Child has been abandoned and that my Adult Self needs to be strengthened considerably. The healing dialogs take some daily work and ongoing commitment, but are well worth it. In the last two months I've procrastinated far, far less, doubled the amount of daily exercise I'm doing, all but stopped watching TV, resumed meditation and improved my diet & weight loss. It's been eye-opening! Well-worth it if you're tired of getting in your own way and not achieving your life goals.

well written and easy to read, i'm doing a course on therapy and i have some issues of my own to address and this book was helpful and in-lighting to ways of understanding the hurt self

Huge, huge healer for abandonment in childhood. Can’t say enough about it- easy to read & straight to the point.

It took me awhile to finish reading the book but when I did finish it I felt the sense off sadness because I was so connected to the stories and practicing all the techniques. At the end of this book I feel I have learned a lot about myself and my sabotage and behavior. Thank you so much for writing this book

I've many who have thought that healing the inner child was all you need - me included. But after being a spiritual counselor for many years, I noticed that even though some people nurtured and loved their inner child they still acted out in a destructive way and, most importantly, they had great difficult, or flat out refused, to accept the same acceptance of vulnerability, love and nurturing from others. This often resulted in greater self acceptance while still feeling disconnected from others, or not being able to be present to others - even loved one's.Ms. Anderson's book presents an excellent model to understand why nurturing the inner child may not be enough to change dysfunctional behavior. She also presents powerful tools to introduce the adult in you to enable you to successfully parent both you inner and outer child. Her book is both freeing and empowering!

This book has absolutely changed my life. I have struggled and struggled for many years. Long story short it turns out I have major fear of abandonment issues. It truly came to light when my partner packed up and moved out...because I essentially pushed him to the limit. I was absolutely devastated even though I should have expected him to give up. This book has brought so much to light for me. I cannot stress enough how vital this book has been in my recovery. I went on to discover Susan's abandonment website and purchased her workbook, too. I am on page 80 of that 300 page amazing workbook, also. You must be willing to do the work in this book. If you do not do the work, you will not see any change. My life has changed in a profound and powerful way. Thank you, Susan. I am profoundly grateful for your insight. Thank you.