My Years with Ayn Rand

Ayn Rand wrote "It's not that I don't suffer, it's that I know the unimportance of suffering. I know that pain is to be fought and thrown aside, not to be accepted as part of one's soul and as a permanent scar across one's view of existence."Speaking of Dagny in Atlas Shrugged:"She survived it. She was able to survive it, because she did not believe in suffering. She faced with astonished indignation the ugly fact of feeling pain, and refused to let it matter. Suffering was a senseless accident, it was not part of life as she saw it. She would not allow pain to become important. She had no name for the kind of resistance she offered, for the emotion from which the resistance came; but the words that stood as its equivalent in her mind were: It does not count--it is not to be taken seriously. She knew these were the words, even in the moments when there was nothing left within her but screaming and she wished she could lose the faculty of consciousness so that it would not tell her that what could not be true was true. Not to be taken seriously--an immovable certainty within her kept repeating--pain and ugliness are never to be taken seriously. She fought it. She recovered. Years helped her to reach the day when she could face her memories indifferently, then the day when she felt no necessity to face them. It was finished and of no concern to her any longer."What was more fundamental to Ayn Rand--her acceptance of reason, or her rejection of suffering? This book shows that the answer is: her rejection of suffering. When confronted with the choice of regarding herself as a tragic figure, or departing from reality, she departed from reality. This is not a condemnation of her philosophy, but an affirmation of it--a proof that nothing can alter the absolutism of reality, not even one's refusal to accept pain. Ayn Rand had an adversarial relationship with emotions--not philosophically, but psychologically; she was tortured by loneliness, and fought against it with all her power. Her refusal to accept suffering as part of her soul made her a giant, until it clashed with reality and led her to act in a way she herself would objectively regard as most despicable. This memoir, while it presents the author of Objectivism as a tragic figure, is a brilliant and life-affirming validation of her philosophy and of the absolutism of reason. Nobody is immune from reality, not even its greatest champions. Nor is this a condemnation of Ayn Rand personally--her achievements in philosophy are held in the highest regard, as is her person; but it is a fascinating psychological portrait of a tortured genius who refused to regard herself as pitiful--at all costs.`Definition of tragedy: A hero destroyed by the excess of his virtues.` - Aristotle (384BC-322BC)

Many people who are or were admirers of Ayn Rand heard about the devastating fallout of a love affair between Rand and her protege Nathaniel Branden. Rand was a mentor to the young Branden, who first contacted her while he was a teen in Ontario. She was impressed with his grasp of her philosophy Objectivism, and she, Branden, and Branden's future wife Barbara became friends, associates, and business partners.When Rand began an affair with Branden, they both naively felt it would not affect their marriages (!) nor the functioning of the burgeoning Objectivist movement and the Nathanial Branden Institute. However, the idealism and fascination of a young man for his exciting mentor was ultimately not enough to base an emotionally satisfying relationship between a man and a woman 25 years his senior. Branden wished to withdraw; Rand felt her self worth threatened by a younger, more beautiful woman.The resulting firestorm of recrimination by Rand against the Brandens was first rumored about, then exposed over a number of years in several books, one by Barbara Branden (The Passion of Ayn Rand) and this book by Branden. How could someone who was so passionate being coldly objective about facts AND emotions go so wildly off-course? Some of the answers, according to Branden as he saw it and experienced it, are here in this book.What is NOT here is rather surprising from a noted psychologist, such as Branden is today. An in-depth analysis of the logic of Rand's fury is only sketchily guessed at, the logic of emotions as kind of a weather-report about the ego is not much dealt with. And Branden scarcely deals with his own duality in idealizing the woman he's with (either Rand or his wife) with the woman he truly wants (Patrecia.) Nor does he deal in much depth with Rand's monumental ability to deny reality when it pleased her or her form of intellectual bullying; shouting and cold, vindictive fury as a way to intimidate are surprising from someone who knew an ad-hominem attack from a logical argument and would not hesitate to call it out. I would have been interested in an examination of the psychology of this as Branden could have analysed it. But that isn't in this book either. However...if you want the story from Branden's viewpoint, this is a must-read.

I have spoken with Nathaniel Branden and indicated that had I found myself in his situation at his age I doubt I would have survived it as he has.I was enthralled with the works of Rand when I discovered her - and them, in 1965 at 19. I was "searching" for the stuff a subsequently awakened soul seeks and had found it in her novels and forceful intellect.Like many such young people, my self-esteem was a farce and based upon seeing myself as "smarter than most," utterly contemptuous of authority, chasing anything wearing a skirt, and had I a friend named "Garth," my mantra would have indeed been "party on."After reading The Fountainhead, and facing the debilitating fact that while I consciously championed Roark, I emotionally identified more closely with the slimy Keating.Branden’s work on self-esteem helped my struggle immensely as I questioned the source of my values and, albeit disturbingly fitful, discarded those values I held that I recognized were destructive, and replaced them with those I had newly "discovered."This "review" of Branden's book is highly influenced by the fact that had he not produced his own body of work, I don't know how I might have found the path that I have traveled and continue to travel to this day. I indeed came to a fork "in the woods," and embarked on the one less traveled.I would recommend this book to anyone who wishes to understand Rand, her "world," and the immense power of one’s mind to fashion only that which it wishes to see.Thanks to Nathaniel Branden, I have since chosen to only see that which IS - in my best judgment.This book reaffirms my perspective on such things................

Very honest book on Nathaniel Branden's relationship with Ayn Rand. I found it very helpful in understanding both the genius and blind spots of Ayn Rand.

No issues, exactly as asked for. Thanks.

Some good parts

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