Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself (Revised and Updated)

Great book, absolutely life changing. Written in the 80's but I think where it says 'Alcoholic' you could substitute the word 'Addict" or 'Narcissist' and it means the same. Very enlightening book.

This is a real must for anyone who is trying to change the life of another (especially family member)and failing miserably. I say this very tongue in cheek as I could not see that the problem was me not them. This book very gently shows that your not a failure but you do need to work on yourself not the other person. It might put some people off that it is based on the Al-Anon principles of 12 steps but if you can substitute the word of the problem that you are involved with in place of the word alcohol then it will become enlightening for you. I read this book twice before starting very slowly the exercises at the end of each chapter (optional) and the way I now feel and act is begining to prove very beneficial. I would recommend this book.

This book was recommended to me as a game changer and I concur … that it is ! I didn’t resonate with codependency in relation to alcoholism as this isn’t my lived experience. However , I do recognise codependency traits in myself in my relationships. I really resonated with practicing detachments . I have seen people comment on that this is far from the human design. How I understood it , was that it’s okay to want and desire a relationship but you cannot let it dictate your life and whilst people can meet your needs we shouldn’t depend on it , we can only depend on ourselves by honouring ourself and asking ‘what do I need ‘. I highlighted a lot of points and had a lot of tabs on this .. will definitely be revisiting. The book feels very practical and not airy fairy like some other self help books . Loved it !!!

The book was bought as a gift as I had personally gleened a lot from the content, for anyone exploring or delving deeper into codependency this is a hreat place to start.However I was disappointed that it wasnt the up to date edition as depicted when purchasing & this was not clearly outlined when the order was placed, but the copy arrived in good time & condition, albeit not the latest edition!

Well written and easy to understand the concepts.

Bought this book 2nd hand after attending a Co dependants group... it looks like i am... but i can't say it yet(if you've been to a meeting you'll know what i can't say,if not find a meeting).I have a lot i'm trying to get my head around. I am dealing with financial infidelity.The book is helping me to look beneath the surface. Realising i cannot control what my husband chooses is both enpowering & frightening. I am already making changes,realising i need to take better care of me. Detaching is very tough!I'd recommend this book.

At page 86, I then needed a drink! Melody Beattie mentions on almost every page (okay, a little drastic, but you’ll get my drift) about ‘alcoholics’. I found I had to try and replace the word ‘alcoholics’ with something that was more relevant to me so I could feel she was actually relating to me/my situation rather than being understanding to just those people affected by alcoholism.Not all codependents have become that way because a parent/spouse is an alcoholic, and Melody keeps repeating this over and over.If you are already fed up reading me write ‘alcohlics’ in my review, then this book definitely isn’t for you as she continuously speaks of it.She had a very good summary of things we codependents do which I printed out and highlighted in a ‘red, amber, green’ effect to show just how much codependency has affected my life and it was shocking.I would go back to her book again for there were parts that actually did relate to me but too much is geared around the alcoholic abusers.

Melody Beattie strikes the right non-judgementak tone while laying things out clearly and objectively around the idea of co-dependency in relationships. For anyone who has a history of alcoholism in their family of origin or going through alcoholism with a partner this is a MUST read. Still as powerful today as it's first edition I suspect.